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Renewing the Family

Parenting, Part 2, with Paul and Candy Ramsey

Resources for healthy marriages – I Choose Us

  • Every husband and wife needs LOVE and RESPECT
    (Eph 5:25,33/Titus 2:4/I Peter 3:7)
  • 3 Things every husband needs:
    Appreciation/Involvement in his world/ Participation in the bedroom
  • 3 things every wife needs:
    Considerate listener/Responsible leader/Romantic lover

Expectations: husbands & wives should spend 8 hours together each week

Other Needs: Training/Communication/Discipling

Resources for healthy and effective parenting – Good Enough Parenting

Every child has 5 Core Emotional Needs:

  1. Acceptance & Connection
  2. Healthy Autonomy & Performance
  3. Reasonable Limits
  4. Healthy Responsibility & Standards
  5. Spiritual Values & Community

Not meeting Core Emotional Needs = LIFETRAPS (Schemas) Rom 12:2/I Peter 1:14-15

Parent’s responsibility – Don’t EXASPERATE but do NURTURE (Eph 6:4/Col 3:21)

9 Exasperation Interactions:

  1. Competitiveness & Status Seeking
  2. Degradation & Rejection
  3. Emotional Inhibition & Deprivation Unconditional Love
  4. Overprotection & Overindulgence
  5. Punitiveness
  6. Dependency & Alienation
  7. Undependability & Irresponsibility
  8. Fear of Harm & Illness
  9. Controlling

7 Nurturing Interactions:

  1. Autonomy Support
  2. Emotional Nurturance & 
  3. Dependability 
  4. Playfullness & Emotional Openness
  5. Intrinsic Worth
  6.  Confidence & Competence
  7. Autonomy Granting
     

Expectations: dinner as a family five nights per week, each parent spend time with each child weekly, peer discipling and partnership with teen or preteen mentors, ongoing training & awareness, active participation in Y&F ministry

Resources for Adult Children - Repair and Reconnect

For discussion:

What was your family like before becoming a Christian?

Do you need to apologize or make amends to any family members since starting your new life? How will you go about doing this?

Who can you get help from in marriage/parenting/family relationships to become a great disciple in these areas?

Resources:

I Choose Us by John and Karen Louis

Good Enough Parenting by John and Karen Louis

The Essential 8 – Principles of a Strong Family by Sam and Geri Laing

Raising Awesome Kids in Troubled Times by Sam and Geri Laing

Friends and Lovers by Sam and Geri Laing

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